So we were only allowed a "recreational" fire which means it can only be 3 feet in diameter. We were doing good till we got to the wet grass stuff that just wouldn't burn. We got out the shop vacuum and put it in reverse. This constant flow of air made it an inferno and we finished what could have been a couple day project in about an hour. Too much for a pyromaniac like me.

My Cousin's Celena's Wedding:
So like 45 seconds before the wedding starts I get "Mandy come here." Uncle Cliff tells me to play this song " the march" as he points at 4 or 5 different songs that have titles like Cannon in D, ahhh so which one am I playing? when exactly?? He just wandered away, left me going ah what, when, where?? So 10 seconds before Cliff/Celena emerge... Aunt Carol says track 7, neat were on track 2, so how am I going to make skipping that many tracks sound good? Before I can formulate some kinda track skipping plan to meld the ceremony together, the flower girl/ring bearer are already 1/3 of the way down the isle, it would be weird to skip a track now (not alone 5 tracks!), ok don't panic wait for a break in traffic down the isle, but no Celena is on her way to the back of the audience. Everyone stands up of course as she walks by....I can't see anything after they disappear up the isle....everyone keeps looking back at me, and I'm like sorry it sounded crappy and I kinda stuttered the track transition...I just got thrown in here.....ok you cant stop staring now.....oh I should turn off the music....right. opps. HELLO! people not a wedding music professional. Good grief by the time I sat down I had to stand back up as they walked back down the isle as a married couple! Not thinking I should jump careers to become a wedding planner anytime soon, in fact I should probably just elope myself!

Innovative ways to meet boys!

Charlie died, I think it has an electrical short somewhere that isn't allowing the alternator to recharge the battery or something like it. It died at a 4 way stop on Mount right off Reserve Street (about a mile from my house). I pop clutch started it, rode 2 blocks to my garden and then let it idle in the parking lot while I watered the garden. yeah it died again. So I tried to start it again by pushing it around the parking lot to no avail, so I thought well at least I can get closer to home while I try to pop clutch start it and maybe there will an incline to my advantage. Not so much. So I go by this family on their front porch and the young kid comes out to help me get some speed to jump it. Yeah he wasn't much help and apologized through puffs of his cigarette, but he was very nice. It’s completely dead now, so I keep pushing it by myself. So it's really hot out, I'm sweating and getting dehydrated by wearing all my gear, so I walked my coat and helmet over to my friend John's house which was only a few blocks away. So I finally had someone jump me, so I thought ok I'll just ride slow and recharge the battery, so I thought just take 7th over to Reserve then head over to Broadway and then hit Russell to get home. So as I get on to Reserve with a California right hand roll I realized then I couldn't stop to get my gear.... So here I am riding down Reserve St. in a spaghetti strap tiny tee and jeans and no helmet. Not good. Oh yeah it was Friday at oh say 6:30 pm.....yeah people were looking at me funny as I cruised at oh say 35mph where as most people cruise at 50mph or better. So in order not to stop and let Charlie die in traffic, I had to time the lights. I almost made it to the Costco light so I could "merge" on to Broadway.... yeah that light takes of ever so I cut over a couple of blocks before that. So Charlie tried to die on this back road, luckily I was able to use the momentum to repop clutch start it, but not with out the back tire getting squirrelly from the abrupt changes in speed, most exciting. So I merge again on to Broadway and it almost dies again behind a truck that wouldn't get going fast enough, so I passed him unceremoniously, I might as well have given him the finger on the way by. I got about a 1/4 to 1/2 mile past him and had to pop clutch it again, that only lasted for another 1/4 mile and then we were completely dead and not coming back from this one. So here I am stranded on Broadway on a Friday evening, no protective gear, frying hot, getting dehydrated and weak with everyone cruising by looking at me like, "interesting choice for a Friday night activity" cuz I often sit on the side of the road on my bike wearing as little as possible. Several nice guys stop, the first was wearing daisy dukes and was probably old enough to know when they became a style, he thought I was probably out of gas, then asked me if I was sure, ahh yeah filled earlier today, ok I know I'm girl on a bike and broke down but I think I can handle filing a the gas tank! The other guy took 10 minutes to decide to walk over from a parking lot and was so shy I felt I had to make him feel better that I was broke down! snobby couple pulled over to offer me a cell phone, (so is this my one free phone call after I am incarcerated?). So I called a security guy from SPH came to jump me when he got off at 7pm. I was so embarrassed! I almost made it to Mullan road intersection before it died again, luckily he was following me, so we let the battery charge for a bit this time. Once again we got going, so I jumped on so as not to loose precious seconds of running time and headed to the Russell/Broadway light, it was red. I took a no stop "right on red" as no one was coming. Then I puttered down the Russell till I figured out my timing for the 3rd Street light....I wasn't far enough away to make it through the red/green cycle cuz I couldn't slow down anymore so I had to punch it. The guy who was following me said I was pulling away from him at 40 in a 30.....yeah I burned the end of that yellow light, ok pretty much red....so then I had to slow way down cuz 5th street was red and there was cross traffic, at the last moment it cleared and I jumped the green light by a bit. I made it to 1 1/2 blocks from my house and then had to finish pushing it home and then up the driveway hill. My driveway is steep and by this time I was super dehydrated, I got the front wheel almost on to the flat sideway part but not quite! BRAKES! and hold, ok one more push and there we are. All in all I think I burned 3 red lights, California rolled at least 4 stop signs, and obeyed about zero speed limits all with no riding gear and met some boys along the way. (I never ever ride without my gear, so this was a freaky feeling! I felt overly exposed, not just cuz my tank top was blowing so I had major cleavage popping out, or that my pants were riding low and.....yeah not good!!) I gave Charlie’s tire a kick, put him in time out in the garage and told him to sit there and think about what he had done. No boy leaves me on the side of Broadway twice! So far I think I am suffering more than it, since it's been beautiful weather and I can't ride! Oh well I lived to tell another dumb “and then I found 5 dollars” story.

Thinker than you drunk I am.

It's been a stressful week but thankfully I am done early on Thursday ready to head to Bozeman to see Heather for my Birthday weekend. I was too busy to pack my stuff before coming to work today, so I run home with excitement building and in a semi-frenzy stuff 7 individual socks (who need pairs?), a spoon, 4 different kinds of pants, 11 books, 2 nalgenes, shorts for winter wear, t-shirts, one DVD movie, hoodies, ski boots, chacos, 3 gloves, a -20 degree mummy bag, 2 hats, a cantaloupe, makeup, a steak knife, cash, Laptop, a dress shirt, 2 cameras, 3 coffee mugs, a sleeping pad, a cell phone charger, a cowboy hat, extra shoes, a snazzy hat, and the kitchen sink (well almost). This all gets tossed randomly into all available space in the passenger seats in the blazer (AKA Damsel). Now I have to run errands to the bank, the library and get fuel. Good grief, let me outa here! Ah one more stop at Mom/Dad's new house in Clinton for Birthday Brownie, yeah. Okay cell phone: check, snacks: check, driver's licence: check, credit cards: check, map to Heather's house: check, enough emergency stuff to placate a boyscout: check.

I start down the road, ah the sunshine so nice and warm, the radio is swinging good tunes, a full tummy of brownies, no worries, no jobs, no deadlines, nothing: just me and Damsel and the open road. Traffic is light, some slower, some faster, but hey whatever. The easy curves lull me into a peaceful state, all the craziness leading up to this just fades away. No one is really around so I just gracefully change lanes to round out the corners, there isn't much else to do really. A backpackers Suburu passes me, I laugh cuz they probably have as much stuff as me but it's all neat and compartmentalized in the back window, whoowho for you, over achievers! They get stuck behind a slow semi a few miles later, I pop over to the other lane when it's clear, pass them and just carry on singing to myself, for reasons unknown to me this Suburu hits the brakes in apparent freak out mode as I pass them. Whatever. Now that sun is feeling so nice and Kyss FM is playing just what I need, my speed wavers and I find myself lolly gagging. I get up to the speed limit and hit cruise control. More sunshine, more singing, some snacks, a highway patrol going the other way, round out a few more corners, get passed by a huge Dodge pulling a massive trailer on my left side, whatever, I figured it was safer just to stay there. There is a car tailgating me, so I go back to the right hand lane. Flashing lights! WHAT! Really people? I calmly slow down, ease on to the shoulder, way off the road for his safety, put in park, keep my hands on the wheel.

How are we doing today?

Alright

I pulled you over cuz we got a complaint about your driving behavior.

Oh.

Can I see your Licence and registration.

(my glove box spills out napkins and the insurance card is straight pinned to the back of the visor)

They said you were all over the road. I am concerned for your safety and that of the other drivers.

ah I was just rounding out the corners.

where are you headed?

Bozeman to see some friends.

Are you in a hurry?

Not really

Have you had anything to drink today?

Just milk and juice

Any alcohol in the car?

Umm....I don't think so

This is your car isn't it?

Yes

And you don't know if you have any alcohol in here?

Well I don't think so, maybe for a couple of months ago.

Smoking anything funny?

No, I don't even smoke cigarettes

Have you taken any meds today?

ah yeah 3 Ibuprofen at noon.

Is that normal for you? (kid you not there was a stink eye included in that question)

Yeah. (i should told him it was for my cramps! and that was like a baby dose compared to my normal intake)

You look flushed and your eyes are all red.

oh well it's kinda warm in here, i can turn the heat down if it makes you feel better. (so i reach over turn the heater down)

Are you tired?
No not really, I'm not even low blood sugared, I just had a brownie

So basically you're just pretty laid back.

mmmm.....pretty much.

So not much really rattles you?

not really. (w a flat affect)

You're sure you haven't been drinking?

Nope i haven't had anything

Where are you headed?

B-O-Z-E-M-A-N (you already asked me that)

Ok I am going to check this out.

*insert Jeopardy song here on REPEAT: I study the map to Heathers house, put the stake knife out of view, oh that melon probably smelled sweetly suspicious! small giggle to myself, gasp that SUBURU! GRRR! (somehow the thought of pot triggered their memory......) whatever, oh look a second drivers licence, well lets just put that away along with the knife. (too bad I didn't have a gun in the ashtray, sorry Jail bird Jimmy, just couldn't resist that one!) Alright mmm well this taking a long time, listen to my new phone messages, talk to my boss for work about a shift change. Finally I shut off engine and start to read one of my books.

and were back:

Well I talked to the people who called you in and they said you were all over the road.

I don't know what to say, I was just taking the shortest route around the corners.

Well in the short time i observed you, you were lane changing without signaling.

OK

You have inappropriate responses to my questions.

(to myself: I do? no drinking, no speeding, no pot, no reaching etc, how is that inappropriate???)

I am going to ask you to step out of the car so I can explain this warning to you.

I open door, shockingly enough I don't fall, waver, or stagger getting out.

Are you sure you don't have any alcohol in there?

Alright buddy you are starting to piss me off. I swing the door open wide and say be my guest to look. He must have seen the stuff piled level to the windows and back of the seats and wisely choose not to look. So now we take a little walk, mmm no wobbling. He is grabbing at straws trying desperately to find something that he can explain away this call.

So you were just cutting the corners?

yeah, there wasn't anyone around, I was even doing shoulder checks to double check.

Ah well ok. were you reaching for something?

mmm No

Are you tired?

Well I've been up since 6am but my bed times not till 9pm.

So your not tired?

Not really that's my every day wake schedule and I slept fine last night.

Will you promise to pull over if your tired?

Yeah but I'm fine.

Are you feeling okay, your not sick?

No I feel fine.

Were you changing the radio station?

No I've been listening to Kyss FM all the way here.

now he explains my warning to me, I just worried for you safety and the other drivers and a last warning to pull over if I am tired and please just stay in my lane.

whatever dude, I amble back to my car, apply my seat belt, put my cellphone in it's place, start the car, use my blinker and pull back out onto the highway. He seemed to really really want to find something wrong with me, something, anything to explain that 911 call. I suspect I may have ruined his paperwork day, from his perspective I can see it, how do you write up that document: crazy response girl, who doesn't know if there is alcohol in her car and is too calm for being pulled over by the highway patrol, she has to be on some kind of drugs. You can't find anything and you have no grounds to keep her so you have to let her go. I feel kinda bad in retrospect for my feckless responses, but there wasn't any reason to get all worked up and panicked cuz I hadn't done anything wrong. I bet the officer has a story to tell his buddies now too. hehehe. way to usher out year 28!

Left in the Dark.

My pantry also doubles as my closet and laundry room, it also houses most of the spiders in the house. So when one fluorescent light went out I figured I would survive as long as I could see little black dots that weren't there yesterday and then squish them. I usually wear bluejeans and t-shirts, so clothes matching wasn't a big deal and I usually just eat whatever I can grab on the way out the door so that wasn't an issue either. However when the other side of the light went out I couldn't see the spiders lurking anymore, and this was cause for great concern. So I put in "new" bulbs that were left behind by the last resident. This didn't enlighten the situation. I put up a small set of five globes Christmas lights that change colors. The blue and green work pretty well for spider detection, the red light is only really good for not running into very large objects such as dyers and shelves. After a week of near death experiences with spiders, near starvation and being in the same clothes, I decided that I should dig out a strand of real Christmas lights and hang them from the ceiling. Now it looks like a cheap bar on the beach. The best part is after one beer I loose at least 10 pounds and my hair look gorgeous even uncombed and everything I mumble to my self is the funniest thing anyone has ever said.

strange sightings

Part I: So I saw a guy riding his bike by St.Pat's with a chain saw today. Just had the handle of the chainsaw parallel with the handlebars and it stuck out to the side the whole length of the blade, acted as though it was totally normal. And I guess in a way it is normal for Missoula.....LOL.

Part II: So we are merrily making our way through May and June in warm pleasant weather for the most part and then wham snow in the valley. Neat. It's Missoula so we all are pretty unfazed by this latest change of seasons. I decided it would be fun to take an hour long walk in the rain, just for kicks. Only towards the end did I think mmm maybe this was a bit long, oh well. I no sooner get dry, when I decide that I really should have pics of the "M" with snow around it in June.

So I don my winter coat, bright pink workout pants, my over sized flaming white and green umbrella, and my chacos and start ambling down the street with my huge camera stuck under one arm. I am sure no one noticed me. I really should have had my picture taken by one of the other crazy passerbys cuz it was quite a sight. I ended walking a far bit further than I had originally thought I was going to. Imagine me trying to use both hands to hold the camera while the other one worked the zoom and keep the umbrella over me and the camera....funny stuff. Yeah then I got the bright idea I should document my chaco clad feet with the snowy mountain backdrop. so now i am balanced on one foot, with the other one in the air while trying to get down low enough for the angle to capture the mountain in the background, adjusting the zoom and holding the umbrella..... so when I passed the guy walking the other way whose smirking face hardly contained his amusement, I acted like this whole trip was totally normal. And I guess in a way it is normal for Missoula.....LOL.
Guess that's why I live here. I fit in with the other crazies, that you can never be quite sure what they are going to do next. I was not able to get my toes and the background in focus which toatlly bummed me out but hey I didn't tip over, so that was a bonus.

366 days

Well here I am one leap year out from purchasing my house. Wow. I am still standing and have not gone under. It has been interesting at times, with no renters to renters who fight and are a major pain. The torment of hearing objects slam and scrap across all wooden floor above your head, thinking how much will that groove take to get out when they move out. How good of a job did they really do painting. Is there anything left of the walls? The realization that they will not share the burden of shoveling even when they are laid off all winter and have nothing to do. To trimming trees and then having the blasted roots invade the pipes causing a sewage backup into the house. Do you suppose windows that don't keep water at bay will retain the winter heat? My electric bill says otherwise. So just before the year mark I finally added curtains to my stairwell window, I am sure my neighbors are happy about that seeing as the closet is on the opposite side of the stairs as my bathroom.....I'll let you draw your own conclusions.... I started my bravery in interior plumbing on the bathroom sink, figuring at the least I could use the kitchen sink if all went to gushing. Besides if complete failure happened dad had already demonstated where the main water shut off to the house was during a previous plumping fatality in the closet/laundry room. I have buckets and mops for just that sort of emergency, which don't seem to be all the infrequent. "God loves me" see previous posts for an explanation. So after a year of cold face washes just before bedtime in a chilly basement and the dead of winter I finally took time to get the hot water side to quit leaking somewhere around warmer spring time, all the same what bliss. In my elation of being an excellent plumber I jumped to the shower. I did heed my dad's advice as to start the project with plenty of time to go to the fix store and this was good. There I was in my third fix-it store of the day, standing alone in the parts isle scratching my head and trying to figure it out just what to do with the shower piece in my hand, trying my best to look like a distressed damsel. this act amounted to a hill of beans as no one came by for 20 or more minutes. I even walked the entire store looking for someone. Now I have to tell ya I was a little worried about showering as I didn't have a back up one in the kitchen......and it was getting close to closing time, dad's words on repeat in my head. I brain stormed everything, from a new head which I couldn't find in a 3/4" size so then I thought I would try a find a 3/4 to 1/2 reducer, but that didn't come out of the magic hat either but I did get a nice bunny, or not. So finally Alex came along and we guessed at the O ring size for the inside of the nut that screws into the wall part. I got home and magically the O ring fit on that piece sticking out of the wall not the nut at the end of the shower head. Good Grief! It amounted to a lot of frustration and that first fix it store guy had me way off track! Grr obviously he was more worried about the Overtime than finding me the solution. All plumbing projects have been put on hold indefinitely. Those drippy faucets will just have to fill the dirty pots to soak while I am at work, ha take that dirty dishes, see a great excuse to procrastinate the dishes too.